Pancakes For Singles


Hey there Are you gonna be single on Valentine’s Day? You’re watching YouTube videos- of course you are Well I’m gonna show you how to feel better about yourself by making some Valentine’s Day pancakes Now, most people like to use pancake mix because it’s already made for them and it’s easy Well I say this is just as easy *loud egg cracking noise* We don’t bother with measurements here Two eggs Next, get some flour Don’t worry about sieving That looks about right Another one of the most important steps is to put milk and water in the same bowl Most people say to make them fluffy, you need to add some water Well it’s Valentine’s Day, and we’re alone, so we’re gonna use vodka Depends how lonely you feel I’d say that’s about right Loneliness scale of drunk. Before you whisk, make sure you take out the eggshells Not important I don’t know where the fuck that went Oh, it’s on the window Who cares? Oh That wasn’t actually meant to happen Before we continue, we should- Oh, they’re in the wrong holes That makes perfect sense for my video Ah Next thing you do, motherfucker, is you whisk like a bitch. You should probably turn it up a bit Get all that anger out of being lonely *screaming* That is looking way too watery, so we should add some more flour That should be about right As it’s Valentine’s Day, we should make it look a bit more pink Let’s add some raspberries Done Mix it all up Just like stabbing my ex-boyfriend in the heart *coughing* I do not like vodka Everyone knows a good way to cure loneliness is chocolate, so we’re just gonna add some chocolate drops in there *screaming* Now we’re about ready to start cooking Make it the hottest you can, so it burns like your soul Grab some oil for lubrication Heat it on up! *singing* Now we’re about ready to find out if this thing sets fire to my kitchen It’s incredibly thin This is gonna be fun It’s not hissing Oh that’s not good Now my pancake is not looking very good, but that’s okay ‘Cause I know we forgot something If you’re single and lonely, the chances are you have a cat Now, as I’m getting pretty old, I’ve chosen cat biscuits for seniors Get it all in That’s a lot of biscuits No, don’t burn Ok, you’re.. You’re sort of burning This is not going well I say we add more mix just to cover that up There we go. That’s how cooking works It’s kind of changed from a pancake to a stir-fry But that’s okay ‘Cause it all goes in the same hole Hey hey Don’t forget to call your loved ones and apologize for the frying pan Now, once this starts resembling a hot sticky mess, such as yourself, it’s time to flip! Now, don’t worry if you’re not confident with flipping It’s fairly easy *plop* Shouldn’t make that sound when you flip it.. And now, it really smells of cats and loneliness in here, so we’re nearly about done The last ingredient you need is a picture of a happy couple When it comes to garnishing, it’s fairly simple Just take your picture of your favorite happy couple Rip them in half And just cry.. Over your sadness.. *mock crying* Ahh Ahh! Oh! Fuck.. That concludes our cooking session Fuuuck Pop it on a plate And you’re ready to eat There you have it A simple, nice, and easy to make Valentine’s Day pancake You’re welcome Of course, there’s no such thing as a good cook that doesn’t try their own food You can really smell the cat biscuits Now, one of the best things about it is These biscuits contain chicken, rice, and vegetables, to really go with the raspberries.. And vodka. Mmmm Mmm hmmm *spits it out* Mmmm *spits* So good It resembles porridge And tastes like shit Oh, no. Nope I mean , mmm Pancakes for single people. *sighs* I hate being lonely *static noises* I like her, she has girl balls Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the video It was an absolute bitch to film Took me longer to clean the kitchen up afterwards than to actually film the video itself Just two quick announcements that I’d like to share with you guys! Number 1: I have a P.O. box At last I had loads of people asking in coments, ect, if they could send me anything and now, you can! The P.O. box address will be in the description below, because I.. Can’t remember it Good, isn’t it Just a couple of things about sending me stuff. Uh, Please don’t send me anything expensive ‘Cause I’d feel really weird about it Number 2: Nothing creepy like tampons with heads on.. Please. Thanks. I’m not sure I’ll be able to reply to all the letters that I get. So if you wanna leave your twitter username in the letter that you send me, um.. I’ll be able to send you a tweet to let you know that I got it, and thank you for it. ‘Cause at least then I won’t feel so bad! The second announcement iiiis! Liveshows! We are finally gonna do weekly liveshows! *quiet yaaaayy* The liveshows are gonna be every Wednesday on YouNow.com From 9 PM until 10 PM GMT-time.
If I don’t forget.. Because you guys know that my memory is really bad! I can’t stress it enough! Please follow me on twitter because I’m always on there And I’ll be able to announce when I’m doing a liveshow.. When I don’t forget. Just follow me on twitter, seriously. This week’s video was a bit different, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know in the comments below, otherwise I shall see you on Wednesday! Or next week! Byee!
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